Domino's is sorry for those assholes

Posted by Chris Spags on April 17th, 2009 at 11:05 am

By now you have to have seen the video of two Domino’s employees doing all sorts of awful things to food. And apparently, those two have now been arrested. So Domino’s has issued an apology that kind of made me laugh and I’m not sure why.

I know you’re the President and this is your business and whatever. But it seems kind of silly to get so worked up over the “hard work” of 125,000 people who…are making magical combinations of bread, cheese, and sauce and ultimately contributing to the fatlaziness of millions of Americans each day like they’re out curing cancer or ending world hunger. Don’t get me wrong, I love cheesy bread as much as the next guy, but if my passion in life were teenage assholes and their Heatwave bags, I’d probably want to stab myself in the eye with a breadstick.

Also what if I ordered farts on my salami or boogers on my cheese? Where am I supposed to get my contaminated deliciousness now? Not Domino’s, apparently. So I guess this is where my highly successful run of pizza fetish videos meets its untimely end.

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Chris Spags "Internet Heartthrob" Chris Spags is a former comic and the founding editor of Guyism.com. In addition to overseeing all Guyism content and business development, he covers Humor for the site daily. He was recognized on the street once and it was awesome.