Feed the homeless, get arrested

Orlando is apparently not a big fan of homeless people eating. Take for example the story of Eric Montañez, an “activist” who tried to feed a bunch of homeless people in a park and found himself going to jail.

[media id=9]

So here’s the thing…I hate homeless people. And it’s not my usual illogical hatred for everyone different from me. I used to give money to every single homeless person I saw, change, a couple bucks, whatever. One day in college, I saw this homeless guy outside of my local grocery store. I actually talked to him, bonded with him. He told me about how he lost his job at a nearby gas station and his family left him. I was touched. He was charismatic and warm-hearted…smelly, but not obnoxiously so. He said he hadn’t eaten a real meal in days and, finally finding my homeless kindred spirit, I knew it must be true. So I gave him $5, feeling way generous. I went inside to get my groceries and capped off the shopping by going to the store’s separated liquor store area. While going to buy my wine coole…I mean, manly hard liquors, I saw this f’ing homeless guy there buying a handle of whiskey. I said, “You said you wanted food…” like a child who saw Santa Claus jerking off into his oatmeal instead of leaving presents. That homeless prick just waved me off and said, “Meh.” And from that day, I decided that I will never trust another homeless person again.

Unless like strip clubs go out of business and put busty young women out of a home. Then, f it, tell me all the sad stories you want Hot Tits McSoupkitchenface.

--- Did you like this article? And you probably like contests, exclusive content, and smug commentary right? Then why aren't you liking Guyism on Facebook? Show some pride and click the "Like" button below right now: