Girl selling virginity has a price: Around $3.8 million

Remember Natalie Dylan, the college girl auctioning off her virginity to pay for “school” or “drugs” or whatever? Well, she’s got a going rate now: somewhere between $1 million and $3.8 million.

According to the Dennis Hof, owner of the whorehouse subsidizing the mission, the Bunny Ranch in Nevada, Dylan’s got a couple offers.

“We have offers from $1 million to $3.8 million, and we have started collecting deposits,” Dennis exclusively tells Scandalist. But the highest bidder won’t necessarily win Natalie’s heart, and virginity. As Natalie told Scandalist, she won’t do the deed with just anyone, but hopes to find someone who “seems intelligent.” Although her personal top pick, Barack Obama, has not placed a bid, Natalie has some excellent potential first-time partners.

Dennis said, “There are a few people she likes. She has been e-mailing and talking on the phone with several men. She wants to be comfortable.” With the possible $3.8 million Natalie could receive, surely she will be more than comfortable.

Well, it’s great to see that the vagina futures market has rallied along with the rest of the stock market, but that’s just silly. To think that some girl who’s willing to allow some random, probable mess of a man would forego an extra $2.8 million just because one guy “felt more right” is kind of absurd. You know what’d feel right? Taking a dip in a pool full of gold coins like Scrooge McDuck. I mean, theoretically. It’d probably be kind of painful. In fact, I don’t know how a fairly small duck was able to swim through piles of solid gold. Seems like you’d hurt yourself more often than not. Those ducks have some life.

Aside: In terms of future forecasting, I expect the price for her second time having sex to decline about, oh, 3800%. It’s not really a renewable resource. That’s why you have to have multiple daughters to sell on the black market. It’s science.

[Even more photos here]

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