Happy birthday, you're on fire
Chris Spags As I’ve gotten older, I feel like my birthdays have gotten less and less special to me. Then again, I don’t have people lighting me on fire in this (probably fake) celebration of a dad’s birthday.
This should be a ritual for every father’s birthday as a way to give back for all the work a dad does. For example, my dad drank and passed out, so it seems fitting that we would reward his flammable blood with a fire befitting a king. Then we all laugh and applaud as he rolls around trying to put it out with no assistance from the family. It’s a way to show that the father is the alpha male of the family, so he doesn’t need help. Also to provide warmth since he didn’t pay the heating bills. Logic!
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