Happy birthday, you're on fire

Posted by Chris Spags on August 7th, 2009 at 9:49 am

As I’ve gotten older, I feel like my birthdays have gotten less and less special to me. Then again, I don’t have people lighting me on fire in this (probably fake) celebration of a dad’s birthday.

This should be a ritual for every father’s birthday as a way to give back for all the work a dad does. For example, my dad drank and passed out, so it seems fitting that we would reward his flammable blood with a fire befitting a king. Then we all laugh and applaud as he rolls around trying to put it out with no assistance from the family. It’s a way to show that the father is the alpha male of the family, so he doesn’t need help. Also to provide warmth since he didn’t pay the heating bills. Logic!

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Chris Spags "Internet Heartthrob" Chris Spags is a former comic and the founding editor of Guyism.com. In addition to overseeing all Guyism content and business development, he covers Humor for the site daily. He was recognized on the street once and it was awesome.