I should have known not to trust that hamster

How do you turn a tragic story about the disappearance of a young girl into a lighthearted bit of whimsy? Running the wrong picture for the suspect’s photo (see 0:17 in on the clip).

Even if you don’t agree with what he’s doing, you have to really applaud the hamster for getting out there and doing something with his life. Unlike all those other lazy hamsters with their running in place and crapting on the floor of their cage. Why don’t you get out there and make something of yourselves instead of living off the system and free government pellets? Hamsters must rise up and remove the shackles of oppression foisted upon them by the White Devil.

Though getting to crap on the floor is a pretty sweet deal. Albeit not as easy as it looks. I learned this lesson the hard way at last night’s Super Bowl party. The most important lessons are the ones you learn accidentally.

--- Did you like this article? And you probably like contests, exclusive content, and smug commentary right? Then why aren't you liking Guyism on Facebook? Show some pride and click the "Like" button below right now: