In your face, gay penguins

There are a couple of penguins at the San Francisco Zoo who have been one of the charming stories gay leaders have used to show that homosexuality exists in the wilderness too. But now that some harlot female penguin has come in, the Penguin Tank is getting just a bit less gay it seems.

Linda the penguin has split up two male penguins who lived as a nesting couple for six years at the San Francisco Zoo, caretakers said.

Male penguins Harry and Pepper had been so content together they were allowed to incubate and hatch an egg laid by another Magellanic penguin last year, zookeeper Anthony Brown said.

Enter the widow Linda, who began courting Harry in her partner’s old burrow shortly after his death this past winter, Brown said.

“To be completely anthropomorphizing, Linda seems conniving,” Brown said. “She’s got her plan. I don’t think she was wanting to be a single girl for too long.”

Though Harry and Linda have been nesting in recent months, molting season in late summer tends to reshuffle couples, KTVU-TV reported Sunday.

“It’ll be interesting to see if Harry spends any of that time with Pepper,” Brown said. “We’ll have to wait and see.”

I like how the zoo is positioning this like it’s compelling prime time drama TV, only with the cast members incapable of flight and dressed like adorable maître d’s. It’s like Melrose Place, but with more intelligible dialogue.

Linda’s a real homewrecker but, at the same time, you can’t fault Harry. A bisexual penguin has needs and there are just some itches another male penguin can’t scratch. Like when Harry needs to get yelled at for eating on the coffee table or be denied sex due to Linda “having a long day,” while meanwhile she’s probably just f’ing that big black penguin down the block because she’s an untrustworthy whore who only lives for her own happiness, no matter who gets hurt. Yeah, I could definitely see how a penguin could fall for a special gal like that.

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