Invisibility cloaks just got more likely

In the most awesome news to ever exist, invisibility cloak researchers have reached a breakthrough that could help them make things invisible. With the power of CLOAK!

Scientists say they are a step closer to developing materials that could render people and objects invisible.

Researchers have demonstrated for the first time they were able to cloak three-dimensional objects using artificially engineered materials that redirect light around the objects. Previously, they only have been able to cloak very thin two-dimensional objects.

The findings, by scientists at the University of California, Berkeley, led by Xiang Zhang, are to be released later this week in the journals Nature and Science.

The new work moves scientists a step closer to hiding people and objects from visible light, which could have broad applications, including military ones.

As awesome as this is theoretically, a mass-market invisibility cloak probably wouldn’t be the best idea. Incidents of mysterious semen flying at nude women in locker rooms and showers would escalate, as would “Surprise sex,” bank robberies, and just general creepiness. And what if the ninjas got a hold of this? They’re already practically invisible with their stealthiness and aerodynamically small genitals…imagine what they’d do if they got a hold of this?

In related news, if someone can get me an invisibility cloak before anyone else has one, that’d be awesome. I think I have a pretty big readership in the Chinese-American scientific community so I’m hoping I can finally call in a favor to Big Invisibility. Help a brotha out

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