Jan Terri might make the worst music videos ever

There once was an artist named Jan Terri who was almost mythical in her awfulness. So awful, in fact, that Marilyn Manson hired her to perform at a party of his. This is cinematic magic happening, in the form of her smash (in the sense that you’ll want to smash yourself in the face) hit, Losing You.

It’s easy to trash Jan Terri for making, perhaps, the worst music video ever. It’s even easier to trash her for looking like this and somehow believing that she’s desirable enough to win a man back. And it’s even easier to hope that she dies of bladder cancer as some sort of comeuppance for making me watch this. But, uh, I guess I really wasn’t going anywhere with this, just pointing out how easy it is to hate this slob.

Oh but there’s worse out there from her. Take a gander at Jan’s follow-up track, Journey to Mars.

Apparently all it takes to get to Mars is a size 24 spacesuit and someone vomiting pea soup on your Super 8 camera. Who knew?

If nothing else, you have to respect the diversity of her song subjects…check out her classic about Halloween called Get Down Goblin.

From what I can surmise, this video was made from the profits Jan made selling Bazooka Joe on NYC trains like those kids trying to “raise money for their basketball team”. Also, for what it’s worth, this is the most believable of her videos as Jan seems to be getting down and has many goblinlike features. When you sound like this and the main photo on your Web site is one of you from when you were like 13 and 200 pounds lighter, you might not be cut out for pop music in any way.

Fortunately she’s supposedly been out of music since 2001. So if you’re out there Jan, please stay out there and don’t subject me to this ever again.

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