Jill Coccaro/Phoenix Feeley looks just like you'd think

Yeah, the words “topless,” “stroll,” and “$29,000″ look great together normally, but come on dude. Do you honestly think a woman fighting for her legal right to be topless is going to be worth looking at?

But unbeknownst to the cops who charged her with indecent exposure, Coccaro has the right – affirmed by a 1992 state appeals court ruling – to bare her pierced pair anywhere in New York, her lawyer Jeffrey Rothman said.

“It was a civil rights settlement,” he said. “We hope the police learn a lesson and respect the rights of women to go topless.”

“We have to affirm a women’s right to be top-free,” Coccaro told the Daily News.

That’s the only photo I could find above. Apologies for the horrendous quality, but the NY Observer sucks at organization.

The basic story in a sentence is “Hippie chick wants to be topless and NYC legally allows it, but they arrested her, so she sued and one. She’s ugly.” That last sentence was totally necessary for my argument.

I’m just amazed that so many people care about this story. Are we so naive to think that someone attractive would do this? Wake up America! If you expected something other than hairy pits and American flag shorts, then I’m very disappointed in you.

--- Did you like this article? And you probably like contests, exclusive content, and smug commentary right? Then why aren't you liking Guyism on Facebook? Show some pride and click the "Like" button below right now: