Kid charged with sexual battery for hugging a social worker

Kids love hugs from strangers. It’s science, at least according to NAMBLA. But a junior high kid might be charged with sexual battery for hugging a school social worker.

A junior high school student could be charged with sexual battery after allegedly giving a school social worker an “inappropriate” hug, MyFOXKC.com reported.

The employee at Chisholm Trail Junior High School told an assistant principal that the 13-year-old boy embraced her in a way that made her uncomfortable, according to police in Olathe, Kan.

A school official contacted the boy about the incident and then released him to his parents, but the local prosecutor is weighing whether to file charges, according to MyFOXKC.com.

“The incident was documented and it has been forwarded to the district attorney’s office,” said Olathe Police Sgt. Johnnie Rowland. “They will review it and decide from that point what action should be taken.”

It’s kind of absurd to charge the kid. In all seriousness, I would guess that the kid hugged her from behind, perhaps had a little teenage erection (or large, depending upon what area of town this is, if you catch my drift) and probably lingered a little long. In which case we should probably applaud this kid for knowing how to seduce a woman at such a young age. Or revile him for getting more action than you have in the past month.

I hope that’s what happened, because that hug would have to be unbearably inappropriate for this to make any sense. I’m talking like a full-on hug that left yogurt stains on her dress. Or the kind of hug I used to get at Boy Scouts that got me my Good at Keeping a Secret badge.

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