Kid kisses ear, causes deafness

No, not a sudden ability to beatbox and do some ill poppin’ and lockin’, but rather actual loss of hearing. Some kid kissed her mom’s ear and it was all downhill from there.

What’s in a kiss?

That’s what a Hicksville, N.Y. mother would like to know after her young daughter’s kiss left her with hearing loss and tinnitus, Newsday reported.

When Gail Schwartzman’s daughter, who is now 6, kissed Schwartzman’s ear, it wasn’t the sound that damaged her hearing, it was the suction force, which displaced the eardrum and paralyzed a trio of bones.

The incident happened two years ago, but will be the subject of an upcoming medical journal report, which outlines “the kiss of deaf.”

“That was some kiss,” said Lisa Freeman of the American Tinnitus Foundation. “Typically (loud noises are) the perception of sound in the ears or head. This can range from ringing, clicking, swishing or buzzing and can cycle to movements of highs and lows.”

“The moral here is simple,” said Levi Reiter, chairman of audiology at Hofstra University in Hempstead, N.Y., who studied Schwartzman’s case and said a similar incident happened in the 1950s. “Try not to hurt the ones you love.”

Yeah, and definitely don’t f the ear of someone you love either. Sure, there are few things as satisfying as humping the head of someone you love and ejaculating on both their hammer and anvil, but proceed with caution. Unless you’re dating Helen Keller. In which case, JACKPOT!..until you get the water bill, I guess. Always with the water, Helen. That crap ain’t free.

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