Kim Kardashian delivers with bikini time

From a hotel in Miami…

For all that I’ve trashed Audrina Patridge and Leelee Sobieski over the past week for not showing any skin in a completely dull winter season, it’s only fair that I go out of my way to applaud Kim Kardashian for finding her way into a bikini when no one else is brave enough to. Rain, sleet, or snow, Kim Kardashian will find a way to wedge her big fat ass into something slinky so that people will take pictures of her. I’ve said some less-than-nice things about her before, including saying that having sex with her would be like f’ing a couch, but occasionally you need to salute people in spite of the fact that you could do a suitable yodel into their vagina or if you could fill it up with water and have birds land in it and splash around. Doesn’t make her a bad person. It just means that a child will escape her loins like it was on a slip and slide.

But yeah, thanks Kim. You know what’s most important and I thank you for that.

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