Man blows a .393 on his DWI

You may think you’ve been drunk beyond belief in your life and, odds are, you were by most conventional standards. But when compared to this man, who racked up his 22nd DWI with a blood alcohol level of .393, you were probably competent enough to do open heart surgery or circumcise a baby. Click to feel way better about your alcoholism.

Police said a man was arrested on Monday for his 22nd drunken driving offense—and his blood-alcohol content tested almost five times higher than New Mexico’s legal limit. State Police Lt. Eric Garcia said an officer pulled up to a car parked along a highway and found a 51-year-old man on the ground near his vehicle.

“He was coherent,” Garcia said. “He showed signs of slurred speech, as might be normal for any DWI arrest, which led the officer to believe he might be driving under the influence.”

Garcia said the suspect had to be taken by ambulance to Christus St. Vincent hospital in Santa Fe, where a blood-alcohol analysis showed a content level of .393 percent. New Mexico’s limit for presumed intoxication is .08 percent.

Police said records showed the man has been arrested five times in New Mexico and at least 16 times elsewhere.

Now according to my calculations on this Blood Alcohol Calculator, this gentleman would have had to drink SIXTEEN shots of vodka in ONE HOUR to reach his reported BAC level. The site lists a BAC of over .25 as having possible adverse side effects as “Serious health issues. Or death.” When you drink enough that a blood alcohol Web site is getting glib about you dying, you should probably take that as a sign to cool out.

Or you can make this guy into a reality TV show. You’re telling me you wouldn’t rather watch this guy downing shots of turpentine or nail polish remover rather than another show about some whore looking for a guy or people who work as meter maids? If we’re going to exploit stupid people, let’s get serious about it.

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