Man deflects bullets with lunchbox

Nothing better than a fluke saving a man’s life. See: This saucy Latino who survived gunshots by using a lunchbox as a shield.

A New Haven man is recovering after being shot during a robbery, but his life may have been saved by his lunchbox.

Carlos Juarez, 32, was waiting for his ride to work Tuesday morning in his driveway before dawn and two robbers accosted him, demanding money, police said.

Juarez refused the demand and the robbers opened fire.

Juarez said he reflexively held up his lunch cooler over his chest to shield himself from the bullets. The cooler was hit twice.

Punchline A: Must have been a Superman lunch box
Punchline B: Looks like his sandwich now has SWISS CHEESE

This guy is pretty lucky, but whatever, he’s kind of a pussy. If he were a real man, he’d have either kicked the gun out of the robbers’ hands or caught the bullets in his teeth and thrown them back at the robbers, killing them instantly. That’s what I do with robbers. Only replace “bullets” with “jizm” and “throw them back at the robbers” with “swallow”. Same diff, I survive either way.

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