Man marries childhood sweetheart after 85 years

This is either the sweetest or most patently absurd story I’ve ever seen. You decide!

A 93-year-old Illinois man says he is marrying his third-grade sweetheart after 85 years apart.

Roland “Mac” McKitrick, 93, of Arlington Heights, proposed to Lorraine Beatty, 92, of Georgia, Tuesday morning, about three years after they reconnected following an 85-year lull in their friendship, the Arlington Heights Daily Herald reported Thursday.

“She was my third-grade sweetheart back in 1921,” McKitrick said. “We knew each other for about one year. Then, for all practical purposes, we lost contact for 85 years.”

However, McKitrick said both he and Beatty had brothers living in Connecticut who became friends, and the two reunited through their brothers.

“I still picture her as my third-grade sweetheart. I’ve carried that in the back of my mind since that time,” McKitrick said. He said he still has a photograph of himself with Beatty taken when they were children.

I once had a torrid affair with a third grader. We didn’t have a whole lot in common, but we knew our feelings for one another were indescribable and beautiful. But the people around both of us weren’t okay with it, no sir. They said it was wrong and that it shouldn’t be right. But it wasn’t my fault that she had cooties and I had never been properly vaccinated for the disease. A love between 9 year-olds built off sharing Capri Sun just isn’t built to last.

HA! Bet you thought that was going to be a pedophile joke but then bang zoom I turn it upside down. Fucking third graders as an adult is just crazy! Especially without proper access to them.

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