Maybe you shouldn't have been discriminating against tomatoes

So tomatoes have been getting a bum rap for causing salmonella outbreaks across the US. Except that the salmonella continues to spread despite the tomatoes going off the market. Ruh roh, Raggy.

Adding to tomato confusion, the government is about to start testing numerous other types of fresh produce in the hunt for the source of the nation’s record salmonella outbreak — even as it insists tomatoes remain the leading suspect.

Investigators are mum on exactly what other vegetables are getting tracked.

Items commonly served with fresh tomatoes is the only hint Food and Drug Administration food safety chief Dr. David Acheson would give, calling it “irresponsible” to point a finger until he has more evidence that some other food really deserves the extra scrutiny.

The reason is that the outbreak continues, with 869 people now confirmed having taken ill. Most troublesome, at least 179 of them fell ill in June, the latest on June 20. That is more than two months after the first salmonella illnesses appeared, meaning the outbreak is continuing weeks longer than food-poisoning specialists had expected — and suggesting the culprit is still on the market.

I know this might be an unconventional thought, but if you don’t want salmonella, maybe you should stop inserting yourself into Mexican rectums.

And seriously why the f do Mexicans have to crap on everything? How about you bastards use a f’ing toilet and a sink to wash your hands when you’re picking out veggiefruits? If I may speak to the Mexican gentlemen causing all this (his)panic for a second…”No me gusta, señores.”

--- Did you like this article? And you probably like contests, exclusive content, and smug commentary right? Then why aren't you liking Guyism on Facebook? Show some pride and click the "Like" button below right now: