Men like being single more than a crappy marriage

Hey girls, think your man is a commitment-phobe? Turns out he’s not; he just thinks you suck.

Bachelor Carl Weisman got fed up of being classified as a playboy, a loser or a commitment-phobe so he set out to find out exactly why he and a growing number of eligible men were steering clear of marriage.

Weisman, 49, conducted a survey of 1,533 heterosexual men to research a book aiming to give women an insight into why some smart, successful men opted to stay single — and help lifelong bachelors understand why they are still the solo man at parties.

He concluded that most men were not afraid of marriage — but they were afraid of a bad marriage.

“Men are 10 times more scared of marrying the wrong person than of never getting married at all,” Weisman told Reuters in a telephone interview.

This really all ties into my mantra with women. I adhere to the idea that it’s not me, it’s you. I was made flawlessly in every way, primarily emotional and physical, so clearly any problems that arise are a result of the fact that you’re incapable of being on the same level. And it’s unfortunate. I blame ovaries, personally. It’s like, hey, if I wanted eggs and a bad attitude, I’d go to the diner my mom works at. And I’d get a bonus of spit and a guilt trip.

Marriage in general kind of sucks though, especially if you’re a successful man and you’re marrying some normal slut. It’s like being penalized for your success. Take for example the situation with former NJ Governor Jim McGreevey, where it came out that he likes to diddle dudes and, of course, he got divorced from his wife. Now he’s basically broke and she’s like “I’ve grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle” (by which I assume she means wealth and not your husband coming home with bleach on his breath and a song in his step). This is why I wouldn’t have been a good judge. I’d be like “Shit happens baby doll” and then throw my gavel at her nose. At least you knew my court room would be a good show. Then again, I’d probably be the first judge arrested for assault in my own court room. You win some, you lose some I guess. That’s what they taught imaginary me in imaginary law school. I also have a pony there!

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