NOOO TAYLOR MOMSEN IS IN THE HOSPITAL

Reports are coming out that beloved BOH jailbait Taylor Momsen is in the hospital :(. A statement from her doctor is below.

I am writing this letter at the request of Colette Momsen, mother of Taylor Momsen.

I have been treating Miss Taylor Momsen for the last few days. She has been hospitalized for a severe, potentially life-threatening throat infection since Sunday. She has been an excellent patient, and after aggressive antibiotics and medications, she is expected to make a full recovery in the next three to five days.

I would just like to say that, unequivocally, I really hope she is okay. I also would like to just throw out there that the best recipe for a throat problem is coating your throat with a viscous liquid, ideally one with high protein levels. A little Vitamin C if you will.

I’m referring to semen, just for the record. It’s for her health, damn you. Someone has to make a sacrifice here, for the good of Taylor. Unless copious amounts of that is what gave her a throat infection. Which is possible. This girl in my high school once got an eye infection from someone busting a nut in her eye. Bet you didn’t know that was possible. See, you came here for a little distraction and instead you learned a lesson about humanity.

[via]

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