Oh COME ON

From last night’s Academy Awards gala where all the big stars came out…

Miley Cyrus was at the Oscars last night, which strikes me as kind of odd. It’s not like Miley Cyrus is part of some great fraternal order of dramatic actors and actresses who should come out to fellate the accomplishments of other actors and actresses. She plays a character who has the exact same first name that she has, which is about as much of a stretch as me playing the role of someone who comes home after a night at the bar and masturbates to photos of Rainbow Brite in precarious positions.

But back to the pressing issue of her unflinchingly awesome cleavage, Miley Cyrus is legal for adult fun time in the UK but not here, which makes these photos completely unfair. She’s basically walking entrapment. I’m pretty sure that if you just saw Miley Cyrus walking down the street, someone would hop out and ask you to take a seat while offering you nothing in exchange but cookies, a smarmy glare, and an extended stay in the part of prison where My Little Pony stickers count as contraband.

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