Oh hey Dakota Fanning, you 18 yet?

No? Still just 14? Uh, well then.

dakota prom 4 Oh hey Dakota Fanning, you 18 yet?

3476390592 d0e2fddb67 o Oh hey Dakota Fanning, you 18 yet?

Since there’s literally no civilized nation which would currently consider Dakota Fanning legal, I’m going to discuss food. You know when you get a piece of nice rib eye steak from the butcher and you bring it home and look at it and know it has to cook a bit. So you put some butter on it, slap it on a pan and begin searing away. And it starts to sizzle. Maybe it looks a little off at first, like it’s not going to turn out properly. But then it starts to get browned on the outside and it starts rounding into form. And even though it’s still a little rare inside, it’s definitely not medium well like most people like it, it’s juicy. Perfect. Ready to be devoured.

Oh that wasn’t symbolic or anything, I just think steaks are awesome. As for Dakota Fanning? She’s something that rhymes with “berry truckable.”

[more photos from dakota's prom here]



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Chris Spags "Internet Heartthrob" Chris Spags is a former comic and the founding editor of Guyism.com. In addition to overseeing all Guyism content and business development, he covers Humor for the site daily. He was recognized on the street once and it was awesome.

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