Oh Webster, you so nasty

This is great because it has all the charm of kiddie porn but none of the FBI problems! Check out former Webster star Emanuel Lewis getting handsy with some slut whom I don’t recognize. While nothing funny specifically is going on, the situation definitely made me chuckle.

I have nothing against Emanuel Lewis in spite of my rap album entitled “Webster’s Gonna Catch A Fat Beatin’.” I say more power to him if he’s actually pulling quality tail as a grown man who looks like a chubby 6th grader. But if you’re this girl, what the f? If I were a hot chick, an idea I often toy with, do you know how charming you’d have to be to overcome being 4 feet tall with the sex appeal of a kid who pissed his pants on Santa’s lap? You’d have to be pulling rabbits out of hats and making me laugh and cry and possibly understand the Israel/Palestine conflict through song. And even then I wouldn’t f you. Could you imagine the shame you’d feel if you fed Webster? It’s not even like he’s been famous in the past 20 years. I’d probably need to take a rape shower if I recognized him in public, let alone if he stuck his probably-disturbingly-large-because-God-loves-ironic-cock-size penis into me. I think a vat of sulfuric acid wouldn’t be a far cry.

[thanks Jason for the tip!]

--- Did you like this article? And you probably like contests, exclusive content, and smug commentary right? Then why aren't you liking Guyism on Facebook? Show some pride and click the "Like" button below right now: