Persistence is important in abusing your family

A Utah man tried to kill his family WITH HILARIOUS RESULTS! Yes, even more hilarious than if he had actually killed them.

If at first you don’t succeed try, try again. That’s usually a positive piece of advice, but it’s something a Salt Lake man should have avoided after an argument.

Last Saturday, Robert Craft was a little ticked off and slapped his 11-year-old daughter.

“It appears that there was an adult son who was present, who tried to step in and intervene in the situation,” said Deputy District Attorney Alicia Cook.

Cook says that made Craft angrier, so he pulled out a chainsaw. But he couldn’t get it started, so he tossed it and tried starting a weed eater.

No luck there. He even tried hitting his wife with his car, but she got out of the way. Craft now faces felony assault charges and assault in front of a minor.

It’s pretty sad when you commit to killing members of your family but are unable to follow through. The police tend not to like it either with their “attempted” manslaughter charges. This guy had a bad enough day, now you’re going to arrest him for stuff he couldn’t even achieve? And he has to be in jail for years as a painful reminder of how bad he sucks at life? Jeez, guys who try to kill their families can’t catch a break. Unless they’re rich and end up not going to jail, which happens pretty regularly! Then they get a pretty big break! Society’s pretty fair when you can afford ways to cheat the system.

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