PETA's Super Bowl ad makes me want to fuck vegetables

Chris Spags Founder and Editor

Every year PETA makes a risque ad that, inevitably, isn’t allowed to be aired during the Super Bowl. Then various assholes around the Internet post it, giving them (and carrots) tons of free publicity. So here’s this year’s go around with hot chicks and veggies/fruits.

I kind of find it hard to believe that vegetarians have better sex. I mean, granted, there are a lot of fat nasty people out there who eat buckets full of meat and, as a result, can’t do one jumping jack let alone lift their pubic fat long enough to have a rousing five minutes of intercourse, but I’m not entirely sure that stuffing yourself full of lima beans is going to make you Big Dick Jones either. In fact, eating all the cucumbers and pickles and carrots and bananas and various other phallic veggiefruits might just make you feel as inadequate as that time you gave hernia exams to the Nigerian Olympic Team. Sure you didn’t have a fancy “medical degree” or “experience” but you had a passion for the materials at hand and dammit that has to count for something.

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