Pimp pays teenage prostitute with McNuggets

Many have echoed the sentiments behind the expression “Pimpin’ ain’t easy.” Well, apparently it is, presuming you have enough chicken nuggets (up until the going to jail part).

An Australian man who pimped a 16-year-old schoolgirl paid her with chicken nuggets for having sex with men, a court has been told.

Ronald Vikash Gander, 27, and his 16-year-old girlfriend devised a plan to prostitute a teenage girl so they could afford the weekly $1,050 rent on a serviced inner-Brisbane apartment, the Brisbane District Court was told.

The court was told the girl made $4,500 for having sex with five middle-aged men in June last year.

Gander and his girlfriend used the money for living expenses and paid the girl nothing except for the occasional box of chicken nuggets.

The court was told Gander’s girlfriend – who cannot be named – threatened the student, who had run away from home, with eviction if she didn’t continue having sex with clients to earn her keep.

Judge Marshall Irwin described the prostitution offences as “sordid”.

“The girl was used as if she was a piece of meat … and your conduct can properly be described as that of a sleaze merchant,” Judge Irwin said.

I can understand why the Judge is so disappointed. If you can’t expect first class employment and professionalism from a pimp who turns out girls who should still be studying calculus, then what hope does the rest of the world? Every time I see a pimp strutting down the street in a technicolor dream coat and a cane befitting a 1930s archaeologist, I always think, “Oh man, this guy must be a CEO or important person in the business community. He would certainly not sell teenage girls for sex and then feed them Chicken McNuggets.” So yeah, I guess you can say I relate to the judge.

What a great ad for McNuggets though. They’re so delicious that you’ll give up your cooch and dignity for them. I’d like to see McDonald’s make this happen in an ad, ideally with Birdie being turned out by Grimace. It practically writes itself!

[via]

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