Pope says child-diddling not the best idea

The Pope is doing his big US tour this week, hitting up DC right now and NYC tomorrow through Sunday. So he’s commenting on all the hot button issues, like how kids’ hot buttons were manipulated.

wwwreuterscom Pope says child diddling not the best idea

Pope Benedict on Wednesday acknowledged the Church had handled the pedophile priests scandal “very badly” and told U.S. bishops to bind up wounds and seek reconciliation with those who were “so seriously wronged.”

For the second consecutive day, the pope said the scandal had caused “deep shame” and enormous pain as the result of priests betraying their vocation by sexually abusing minors with such “gravely immoral behavior.”

But he said the problem ran deeper, saying children should be “spared the degrading manifestations and the crude manipulation of sexuality so prevalent” in society today.

The title of the article is: Pope acknowledges sex abuse scandal “badly handled”. I like to pretend to be dyslexic, then outraged, so I read it as “Pope acknowledges bad abuse scandal “sexily handled”. Then I was like, “ARGH THAT POPE IS SO BRAZEN! HOW DARE HE!” Needless to say, I threw my Pope bobblehead down in disgust. And it bounced up and its mouth hit my groin. Give it a rest, Catholic church! My crotch is a no-fly zone for you!

But yeah, it’s pretty great how he blames society for some of the “degradations” of kids today. Yeah, it’s totally the fault of Myspace and camera phones and not because Father Flannagan played Bobbing for Communion Wafers. Never has the blood of Christ tasted quite as bleachy!



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Chris Spags "Internet Heartthrob" Chris Spags is a former comic and the founding editor of Guyism.com. In addition to overseeing all Guyism content and business development, he covers Humor for the site daily. He was recognized on the street once and it was awesome.

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