Pregnant woman or terrifying sea monster?

Nadya Suleman had eight living beings exit her vagina a couple weeks back and that somehow makes her noteworthy (see her extremely self-important Web site here). TMZ found a photo of her while pregnant and it’s as horrifying as you could ever possibly imagine.

It’s easy to make an abortion joke here, so I will. Because honestly I would think at least one of those fetuses would have been aborted by accident. A sneeze would probably give them a concussion, an unfortunate side effect of having little people crammed into your uterus like Mexicans in a one-room apartment. Even getting up in the morning makes them jostle around like Michael J. Fox.

This is why I’m dreading the moment I knock a woman up whom I don’t immediately run away from after learning about it. If I wanted to f a hot air balloon, I’d cut a hole into my copy of Around the World in 80 Days and prepare for chaffing. But why would I want that? That’s an odd fetish to have. Hypothetical Me might need serious emotional counseling.

[photo via. more on crazy octuplet mom here]

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