Puerto Rican girls are dirty

A beauty pageant in Puerto Rico over the weekend for the right to represent the commonwealth in the Miss Universe pageant featured attempted sabotage as some of the contestants were doused in pepper spray.

Beauty pageant organizers were investigating Sunday who doused a contestant’s evening gowns with pepper spray and spiked her makeup, causing her to break out in hives.

Beauty queen Ingrid Marie Rivera beat 29 rivals to become the island’s 2008 Miss Universe contestant, despite applying makeup and wearing evening gowns that had been coated with pepper spray, pageant spokesman Harold Rosario said.

Someone also stole Rivera’s bag containing her gowns, makeup and credit cards. And a bomb threat forced pageant officials to postpone the last day of competition on Thursday, said Magali Febles, director of the Miss Puerto Rico Universe pageant.

If there was one group of people I’d expect to keep shenanigans to a minimum, it’s the Puerto Rican girls. Based upon my experience with Puerto Rican girls, they don’t sabotage many things. They mostly just bob their heads around a lot and keep their hair all wet. Also, they probably spend a lot of time squeezing those big asses into those jeans. And probably something involving fried bananas. Perhaps working out how to properly fry bananas in some sort of futuristic science lab.

It’s a pretty ingenious scheme though. And it’s also good to know that apparently, pepper spray isn’t as effective as the liberal pepper spray media would have you believe. Looks like there’s one less thing for me to worry about when out soliciting ladies! Jackpot!

--- Did you like this article? And you probably like contests, exclusive content, and smug commentary right? Then why aren't you liking Guyism on Facebook? Show some pride and click the "Like" button below right now: