"Puppy kills infant": Cutest murder headline possible?

It’s very rare that murder can be so adorable but when you have a 2-month old puppy taking out a 2-month old infant, it’s just about as cute as it could possibly be. I guess unless you’re the parents…but what are the odds they’re reading?

“There can be only one, human.”

For now— police believe a black labrador puppy attacked and killed the baby.

The boy died inside the home at 101st and Evanston late this morning. Police say the infant was left unattended in a swing with two dogs in the room, the lab puppy and a pug. The black lab has been euthanized.

EMSA says any dog can turn dangerous.

“Even a very familiar family dog can turn on you, puppies specifically, they’re unpredictable, they’re young, they got a lot of hormones going on, you’ve never know what they’re gonna do,” says Chris Stevens of EMSA.

In fact, nearly all the dog bites EMSA has treated in the last three months have involved dogs the children have known.

“Never let an animal sleep in the same room as your child, have your pets spade or neutered, it does relieve a lot of the aggression.”

That’s some top-notch writing. Indeed, having your puppy turned into a playing card’s suit will help keep it under control. Also, having it “spayed” may help. Both are important really. It’s always nice when a writer writes his or her articles by sounding simple words out and then using the incorrect homophone. It’s a staple of journalism.

That seems kind of unfair to the black lab puppy though that it was euthanized. Not only did it not know any better and not only is it not the puppy’s fault that the baby’s parents are idiots, but f that the puppy WON. Sometimes an unstoppable force meets an immovable object and clearly that’s the case when you put a baby and a puppy in the room. Plus, who’s to say the pug didn’t set the black lab up? He didn’t even get a fair trial! The justice system just doesn’t work. More like All Dogs Go to Death Row. No justice, no peace!

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