Running over ladies will not make them want to bed you

Some guy tried to get some foxy ladies at a doughnut shop in California. Unfortunately, they rejected him, so he responded like any logical person might…by trying to run all three of them down with his car.

A Pasadena, Calif. man has been charged with trying to run down three women who spurned his advances at Newport Beach.

Prosecutors said Wednesday that Bryan Curiel faces life in prison if convicted of several felony charges, including attempted murder.

Farrah Emami, spokeswoman for the Orange County district attorney, says the women rejected Curiel’s advances inside a doughnut shop Sunday and told him to leave them alone.

When they had left the shop, Curiel allegedly drove at least 50 mph toward the women and three of their friends before crashing into several concrete bench

Ha yeah what a dumbass. Doesn’t he know that you only run them down after sex? I learned that from GTA! Did you also know the cheat code to make a woman have an orgasm is up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, select? Yep, learned that in GTA too! Girls are easy when you learn about them in digital form.

This guy also seems to lack the fundamental ability to take advantage of his surroundings. Why get all bent out of shape about these girls? What, you wanted to have sex with them? Dude…you’re surrounded by God’s vagina…the DONUT! Donuts won’t yell at you or make you feel like less of a man. They will love you and, if you feel so inclined, taste delicious in your mouth. You can even introduce yourself to a jelly donut and pretend it’s a lady on her period!

Yes, my wife is a donut. And I’m proud. Damned proud.

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