Saudi Arabia is progressive in its views on 1 year-old girls getting married

I like camels and I like babies (not like that) so imagine how excited I am for Saudi Arabia that a marriage official says it’s totally cool to marry a 1 year-old!

Saudi marriage officiant Dr. Ahmad al-Mu’bi told Lebanese television viewers last week that it’s permissible for girls as young as 1 to marry — as long as sex is postponed.

Al-Mu’bi’s remarkable comments also included an explanation that “there is no minimal age for entering marriage.”

“You can have a marriage contract even with a 1-year-old girl, not to mention a girl of 9, 7 or 8,” he said. “But is the girl ready for sex or not?” What is the appropriate age for sex for the first time? This varies according to environment and tradition,” al-Mu’bi said.

These Saudis are pretty freaking on the ball. Like they totally get that American society is moving in a direction that sexualizes teenagers so they twirl their big mustaches and go, “HA HA WE WILL SHOW AMERICAN PIGS AND MARRY OUR 1 YEAR-OLD GIRLS! THEN THEY WILL BE BIGGER THAN 600 HANNAH MONTANAS!”

My question is the dowry higher or lower with a 1 year-old? Because like it can go either way with them really. But you’re getting them really young so I guess there’s a lot of potential. I guess what I’m saying is that I want dowries in America. I don’t want to marry your ass for free. Not only that, but at a LOSS! I have to buy a ring and crap! What the f. Yeah, it’s great that I can get Diet Coke and whatever, but America sucks sometimes.

--- Did you like this article? And you probably like contests, exclusive content, and smug commentary right? Then why aren't you liking Guyism on Facebook? Show some pride and click the "Like" button below right now: