Sorry we lost your dead wife's voice. Love, Verizon

Some old dude who was clinging to his dead wife’s voice on an outgoing voicemail message lost it due to service upgrades. For more on this subject, position your eyes 3 inches lower than this line.

An 80-year-old widower who’d been saving his dead wife’s outgoing message on voicemail so that he’d remember what she sounded like lost it when Verizon upgraded phone service in his area.

Charles Whiting told New York’s Journal News that he stayed connected to the memory of his wife Catherine by calling his phone every day just to hear her say, “The Whitings aren’t home.”

But after the Verizon upgrade in the Westchester, N.Y., area, the greeting message was wiped from his voicemail system.

Whiting said he immediately phoned the company, waiting an entire hour to be helped and even getting disconnected at one stage. After calling back and holding another 90 minutes, he was told the outgoing message Catherine had recorded had been lost for good.

“That’s the only recording of her voice that I have,” Whiting told The Journal News. “Every time I listened to my messages, I heard her voice saying, ‘This is Catherine Whiting.’ It was like she was still with me when I heard that. Now they took her voice away.”

Well, that’s kind of depressing. This is why I’m totally opposed to Ghostbusters and the way in which they insist on busting ghosts. It’s like, some ghosts don’t need to be busted man. They just hang out and talk to their ex and maybe occasionally jerk them off and leave a slime trail and then create a new slime trail with the love slime that comes from their lover. It’s a pretty good deal actually because if you have sex with a ghost, you don’t have to buy them dinner afterwards or get them a towel.

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