Teacher sends kid home with bag of crap

Teaching can be frustrating. Little kids running around, yelling, soiling themselves. So sometimes you’ve got to teach them a lesson. That lesson: When you crap yourself, shove the evidence into your bag and take it home with you.

“See kids, what you’re looking at now is where the doody comes from.”

A 5-year-old student at Apple Valley Elementary in Yakima headed home on the bus with more than books in his backpack. Inside was a smelly package his father never imagined he’d be toting around.

“I’m still kind of in shock over this, because why would somebody do this? It’s disgusting!” said the boy’s father, who wished to be identified only as “Jason.”

Jason says his son’s kindergarten teacher had bagged up a piece of human feces and stuck it in his son’s backpack. His wife found the stinky mess.

“She found a clear plastic bag with a piece of fecal matter wrapped up in a brown paper towel with the note on it,” he said.

The note read, “This little turd was on the floor in my room.”

Jason says his son’s teacher, Mrs. Graham, called last Friday and said her classroom was “stinky.” She asked if the boy could have had an accident.

It’s easy to get angry with the teacher and say things like, “Oh, you can’t do that to a child, it’s traumatic!” or “Don’t rub his nose in it like a puppy!” or “Don’t wrap an old Snickers wrapper around it and attempt to make him eat it as punishment!” But nevermind all that, maybe this kid shouldn’t be crapping on floors. Or, even moreso, maybe he should stop acting like such a little kid. He’s 5 years old and kids are maturing faster than ever. He should have a hit album and be sleeping with Demi Lovato by now or, at the very least, holding down a 9-to-5 job he hates and smoking a pipe every day after work while reading the paper. Get your act together kid, you’re the one to blame here.

[via (with image of the note...not the poop, sadly)]

--- Did you like this article? And you probably like contests, exclusive content, and smug commentary right? Then why aren't you liking Guyism on Facebook? Show some pride and click the "Like" button below right now: