Teens are using cell phones in sexy ways

I missed this story this morning but I think you guys know that I’m an industry leading expert when it comes to teenagers doing slutty things. Vague reports say that teens are using cell phones in various sexy ways, including nude pics, more than ever!

Forget about passing notes in study hall; some teens are now using their cell phones to flirt and send nude pictures of themselves.

The instant text, picture and video messages have become part of some teens’ courtship behavior, police and school officials said.

The messages often spread quickly and sometimes find their way to public Web sites.

A study last year found teens are placing more of an emphasis on image and fame than in the past. Jean Twenge, a psychology professor at San Diego State University who studies young people’s trends, found that teens are more confident and assertive than ever before.

“Adolescents are not known for thinking things through — that’s a generational constant,” she said. “Now, with the technology that is out there, instead of taking a picture and passing it around the classroom, it’s online, which is a whole different ball game. (Teens) don’t see it that way.”

I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out what we’re all thinking when we read this. Oh, not about about the horrors of a misinformed youth that can’t think about consequences and only focuses on getting attention. But rather the immediate instinct that I assume we all had when we read that. Which is to go “Niiiiiiiiice” and lick our lips. Uh, you didn’t have that reaction? Well, yeah…certainly…lost childhood…innocence…is…uh…not sexy at all.

Having a son would seem like it’s pretty status quo. If he’s handsome and well-endowed (like my son would no doubt be since I am a genetic masterpiece), he’s probably really reaping the benefits of this situation and I could live vicariously through him. But having a beautiful daughter (like my daughter would undoubtedly be for the same reasons listed above) would be disastrous. I mean you have to let her go to school and be social so she doesn’t die a lonely spinster whose cat ends up eating her face for weeks because no one cares about her and checked in on her.

I’d probably have to give her like a carrier pigeon or arrows with notes attached to them to communicate with her friends just to make sure she’s not taking nude photos. Then again, she could just do like Maid Marian did for Robin Hood and get paintings of herself in the nude and send them on the back of an ox or a large retarded man. See? The more things change, the more they stay the same.

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