The Fast and the Bi-Curious

Have you ever dreamed of seeing Seth Rogen and Andy Samberg get very close to making out but wondered “How in the world will I make this come to reality without guns, maps, and a whole lot of foresight?” Well, hey, less work for you now.

I didn’t see The Fast and the Furious but it’s long been my fantasy to have a film like that where the trailer looks all RRRRRRR MANLY STUFF and then, when people get to the theatre, have it be a sentimental drama or chick flick. Maybe have Vin Diesel putting on multiple silly outfits to “That’s Not My Name” by the Ting Tings. Or a charmingly befuddled Paul Walker trying to impress Jordana Brewster, but he’s so uncomfortable and awkward. The guys in the theatre would be so confused but, at the same time, I bet they’d be like, “This is the most soul-wrenching journey I’ve ever been taken on. Thank you, Director.” It’d really be well-received, up until the part where the movie makes $7 in its second week. But hey, Vin Diesel and funny hats…can’t underestimate that drawing power.

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