The Smart Mop will get you through the recession

Chris Spags Founder and Editor

With the economy continuing to spiral so out of control that we can’t even afford to stop selling our bodies for drugs as seen in a report that I tell myself in the mirror every morning, where can we turn to for answers? Obviously, infomercials. For example, check out the financial savings tips from this infomercial for the “Original Smart Mop.”

Delicious and nutritious! Well, nutritious when you’re assuming that dirt, grime, and semen residue are part of the food pyramid that was conveniently left out. Typical.

Being a pitchman for a product like this seems like an awesome job. You just spill crap on the floor then have their mediocre product clean it up while parroting back some marketing jargon. That’s pretty much what retarded kids do all day anyway. Ooh or they could hire retarded kids! Could you imagine how hard it’d be to refuse a sales pitch from an adorable tard? Though this product might not make sense for them since they’d probably just lick the soda up with their big retard tongues. Let’s file this one under “maybe.”

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