The sun can be terrifying

One of these things is not like the others…one of these things is not like the others…

At first I thought a ghost had sneaked into the frame of the photo, but it turns out that some people are just that light colored. I forget sometimes that not everyone is flawlessly tanned and chiseled out of raw granite like I am. And it’s easy to forget since I so often spend time in front of mirrors, staring directly into my own eyes while pleasuring myself. What can I say, I’m titillating.

On the plus side though, she definitely picked the correct chick to stand to the side of. Wearing a dress at the beach is never a good sign. I bet lots of catty comments like, “Psh, those aren’t real” or “Yeah, I could be that fit if I were stupid and had no job, too” came out of that Lane Bryant fabric a few too many times that day.

[via, as seen on]

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