The world of tomorrow, today!

Chris Spags Founder and Editor

I often masturbate thinking of what the future would be like, with my robot maid and her sassy attitude and skirt that shows off her pleasure chip. She knows what she’s doing. But when you look at the world of today, as seen through the eyes of the past, here’s what our lives look like.

I’m perpetually a bit disappointed in the world we live in today. I still get sick (including at this very moment, as I cough up a lung and seemingly have the immune system of a Haitian blood transfusion), I can’t eat healthy but delicious food in the form of pills, I still have to do most of the monotonous things people had to do decades ago. I guess what I’m saying is that I’m really not getting any of the pleasure from this hydraulic penis that the spam email promised me. “She’ll love your big pleasure drill,” said Babirye Barnard. “Melt her icy love glacier now,” he said. Oh, the sweet sweet lies I so desperately wanted to believe, as presented in the form of misspelled emails.

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