This divorce lawyer commercial sure is poignant

Posted by Chris Spags on January 26th, 2009 at 11:41 am

I don’t think there’s anyone out there who likes divorce. Oh, except the Cy women who milk their ex-husbands out of a significant chunk of money that they don’t deserve. This just reinforces that point.

This commercial makes divorce seem all fun and liberating, like winning a contest or something which, again, it is if you’re the woman. In fact, it’s probably the best possible deal you’ll ever get in life. I can think of no other scenario in which you’d make out with thousands upon thousands of dollars for laying on your ass and taking a load every now and then. That’s why I want to marry a rich lady. I imagine she’ll probably be kind of a bitch because rich ladies tend to be really mean to compensate for their accursed vaginas which oppress them at work, but still, it’d be nice to lay around on a sofa while Hernando my man-servant feeds me grapes. Then my wealthy wife would come home and I’d be like, “Oh sweetie, tough day at work?” Then I’d pretend I had a headache so I wouldn’t have to lay there awkwardly pretending to enjoy sex with her. Sigh, that’s the dream right there.

--- Did you like this article? And you probably like contests, exclusive content, and smug commentary right? Then why aren't you liking Guyism on Facebook? Show some pride and click the "Like" button below right now:

Chris Spags "Internet Heartthrob" Chris Spags is a former comic and the founding editor of Guyism.com. In addition to overseeing all Guyism content and business development, he covers Humor for the site daily. He was recognized on the street once and it was awesome.