This is why exotic animals aren't as cute as you think

I saw this photo a couple weeks back but didn’t post it because I feared the repercussions of the liberal polar bear media but I must soldier on and do my duties as a journalist. Wait, I mean lazy blogger. Sorry, I get those two confused.

On the Internet, people have a way of finding cuteness in many different animals but the reality is that 99% of them will eat your f’ing face off if given the chance. I mean seriously, theoretically these things are adorable but in terms of practicality it’s probably a good idea not to fetishize them. Like if I heard reports of drunken sorority girls eating people’s faces and leaving them in a ditch, I’d be much less inclined to want to work them like a finger puppet all the time. I’d still probably jerk off to hidden cameras of them peeing mind you, but I definitely would be reluctant to wear 3D glasses when doing so. The first step in prevention is taking the proper precautions.

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