To the guy I caught masturbating in his car in the parking garage

When I think of Details magazine, top notch humor would be one of the things I wouldn’t think of right away. Latent homosexuality, sure. But not humor. Well, I guess they’re doing what I can to change that by presenting creepy Craigslist ads turned into music. And it’s pretty funny.

Ah, masturbating in the car. Always something near and dear to my heart. That’s how I met my therapist. If you can’t trust your repressed childhood memories with a man who’s driving up a block slowly, staring at you menacingly while passionately stroking his penis, then who can you trust? And if anything’s going to help remind me of why I hate my father, it’s a man who masturbates in his car. Plus his hourly rates consist entirely of giving him kisses! Hmm, now that I think about it, why would a therapist have an office in the sauna at my gym? Guess he just likes humidity!

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