Top 10 qualifications for a flagrant foul and/or an ejection

Posted by Douglas Charles on April 30th, 2009 at 1:25 am

Confused as to when an NBA referee should call a flagrant foul, a super-duper flagrant foul, or for an ejection? Just consult these simple bylaws from the league’s secret rule book. It’s easy!

10) If the player is committing the foul (heretofore known as The Criminal) is much smaller than the opponent (heretofore known as The Victim)

9) If the Criminal is from a smaller media market

8) If the NBA has a vested interest in seeing the series go long, and the call helps to ensure that

7) If the Victim is a much bigger star than the Criminal

6) If the Victim has gone to the Soccer Player / Pro Wrestling School for Selling the Blow

5) If the incident plays on longstanding local animosity or racial tensions

4) If the Victim has suffered visible damage (i.e., blood) rather than invisible damage (concussion)

3) If the foul happens early in the game and sets the tone, rather than coming late in the game and deciding it

2) If the Criminal’s Coach is better at working the refs and/or media

1) If the pre-game meeting between the show’s writers feel it’s the best way to advance the plot

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Douglas Charles Douglas Charles, aka "DC Scrap," is the managing editor of Guyism.com. His experience includes operating an assortment sports and entertainment Web sites over the past decade, but his specialty is discovering sexy women from all over the world that he knows he will never have a chance with, let alone meet - a quality he shares with 99.99% of his readers.