Top 10 signs your NFL team isn’t going to do well in the NFL Draft

Posted by Douglas Charles on April 14th, 2009 at 6:30 am

10. You’ve heard of the people they are rumored to want, and you don’t really follow college football

9. The team’s scouts and front office all sound like Mel Kiper Jr., which is to say, a coked-up greaseball

8. Every single pick is someone they were surprised was still on the board, because that means their talent evaluation is just so, um, unique

7. Certain picks are just ceded to the owner’s personal whims, or to the local “Make A Wish” chapter for dying nerdlings

6. Prospects are given obvious code words of failure by beat writers like “pocket”, “crafty” and “white”

5. The team spends more time worrying about looking savvy by trading up or down in the draft then actually making a good pick

4. Picks are suspiciously fast or slow, and are accompanied by archived footage of your team’s fans tearing their hair out

3. Police records, combine scores and statistics against minor college opponents are all way too prevalent

2. The talking head on television who has been told to defend your team’s selections in the inevitable on-camera debate is drunk

1. Your team is the Detroit Lions

--- Did you like this article? And you probably like contests, exclusive content, and smug commentary right? Then why aren't you liking Guyism on Facebook? Show some pride and click the "Like" button below right now:

Douglas Charles Douglas Charles, aka "DC Scrap," is the managing editor of Guyism.com. His experience includes operating an assortment sports and entertainment Web sites over the past decade, but his specialty is discovering sexy women from all over the world that he knows he will never have a chance with, let alone meet - a quality he shares with 99.99% of his readers.