Top 10 sports complaints that make you sound old

Posted by Douglas Charles on April 10th, 2009 at 6:30 am

10. Traveling in basketball. You get the feeling that as soon as he invented the game, James Naismith started bitching about how the players weren’t dribbling enough.

9. Defensive pass interference. The rules may change, but the whining does not. Oh, and your opinion is entirely dependent on your view of the laundry, of course.

8. Tattoos on players. Don’t they realize that this makes them unfit for burial in a strict Jewish cemetery?

7. Concession prices. If the beer that you are crying into is too expensive, there’s always the option of staying home. (Or losing a leg and filling up your prosthetic with booze. That’s what Raider Fan does.)

6. Cheating. Just because steroids, HGH, Lasix and more exist now, doesn’t mean that amphetamines and narcotics weren’t used before, or that the old-timers weren’t stealing signs, fixing games or sending hookers over the night before a game. There’s nothing new under the sun.

5. ESPN. Just because it has been going downhill for decades doesn’t mean that pointing it out isn’t tiresome.

4. Fantasy sports. Just accept that it’s a form of gambling that you don’t understand or appreciate, and move on. It’s really not the end of the world, or any threat to just watching to see which team wins.

3. Statistics. Hey, you know what’s great to hear? People who are ignorant of how something works getting self-righteous about it. Have at it, old man.

2. Ticket prices. Why, when I was a kid, you could go to a game and make money, because the players would take pity on you and just give you money. And ham. Lots of ham.

1. Player salaries. Just because something is indefensible and insane, especially in a down economy, doesn’t mean your same old take on it deserves attention.

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Douglas Charles Douglas Charles, aka "DC Scrap," is the managing editor of Guyism.com. His experience includes operating an assortment sports and entertainment Web sites over the past decade, but his specialty is discovering sexy women from all over the world that he knows he will never have a chance with, let alone meet - a quality he shares with 99.99% of his readers.