Tourists are douchebags

Via Flickr comes this very telling image that illustrates how much tourists suck at life.

It may shock you to learn that these tourists were not actually supporting the leaning tower of Pisa with their bare hands based upon the pictures that they showed you. I know it’s hard to believe. It’s not the first time a tourist has conned me though. They come into the country acting all lost and confused and asking for directions and then all of a sudden they find themselves forcing an ether-soaked rag into my hand and coercing me to drag them to a hotel room bathtub begging me to liberate their kidneys from them for sale on the black market. Yeah, tourists can certainly be tricky and profitable. Mostly tricky.

In related news, the Washington Monument is also not your friend’s penis, no matter how many cleverly constructed photos from DC your friend showed you. Additionally, if his penis did look like a white stone building, he may have a very serious condition or be a Stone Man like the Thing from the Fantastic Four. In which case, you should probably sell him to a freak show. In fact, you should probably do that anyway, just to be safe. That’s what friends are for.

--- Did you like this article? And you probably like contests, exclusive content, and smug commentary right? Then why aren't you liking Guyism on Facebook? Show some pride and click the "Like" button below right now: