UC San Diego will stomp on your dreams

Getting accepted into college is an awesome time in your young adult life. It becomes slightly less awesome when you find out that your dreams coming true are the result of UC San Diego accepting EVERYONE who applied by mistake.

UC San Diego — a school for the smart ones, supposedly — mistakenly congratulated nearly 29,000 applicants on their acceptance, according to university officials.

Earlier this month, about 17,000 students were offered admission for the fall, leaving nearly 29,000 hopefuls out in the cold.

But on Tuesday, the school’s communications office said an e-mail was sent Monday afternoon to all 46,377 students who applied for admission — including the 29,000 rejects — welcoming them to the campus.

A half-hour later, school officials said, they realized their mistake. Almost two hours after the first note went out, a second e-mail was sent, apologizing to 28,889 freshmen applicants for the mistake.

“No member of this department is more acutely aware of the emotional roller-coaster that this could cause for our applicants,” Assistant Vice Chancellor Mae W. Brown said.

Everyone getting in? What is this, the University of Arizona? Oh ho ho West Coast college humor.

That has to be a lawsuit right? Screw-ups like this seem to happen a lot, primarily due to lazy computers not doing their f’ing jobs. I’m not paying you to sit around and overheat, dipcrap. Is it so hard to make sure that my database is correct without me heaving to move my feet off of my desk? I don’t think so, HAL. So cut the crap. Especially when you consider the fact that if some of these kids don’t get into this paradise of a school (in terms of beauty and hot chicks, not learning crap…what am I, gay?) might end up having to go somewhere like Wisconsin as a safety school. Do you realize what a downgrade that is? That’s like saying, “Hey, you can’t f that supermodel so go stick your dick into this garbage disposal filled with mashed potatoes. Also the switch flicks on its own, so, yeah, have fun!”

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