Well, this makes sense.

Part of me strongly empathizes with the reporter of this story. It’s a rough time to be writing about news as the world seems to just crawl right before the holidays. But it’s still fairly inexcusable to have a retarded headline like this one.

The article goes onto make such stirring proclamations that the cops actually doing their jobs was a major factor in there being a crackdown on knife crimes. So, to get this straight, this is a story about police in the UK actually deciding to do their jobs and focusing on a popular crime directly leading to less of a crime. It’s pretty crazy to think that if someone does their jobs correctly, their jobs will actually do what is intended. The system works!

In related news, if you stab someone in the eye after a cop confiscates your knife, you’ll have so upended all statistical data that we may get stuck in an eternal loop, leaving all of time and space frozen. Which would be pretty cool, theoretically. I guess other than the eye goo on your knife. It’s surprisingly hard to clean off.

[source]

--- Did you like this article? And you probably like contests, exclusive content, and smug commentary right? Then why aren't you liking Guyism on Facebook? Show some pride and click the "Like" button below right now: