Whales are such douchebags

I’m going to be honest, I don’t feel like putting in a lot of “effort” into writing today. And what do bloggers do when they’re lazy and disdainful of the fact that they churn out so much content daily? A silly video! Ho ho Shamu really treats his trainer like a bitch in this clip.

I’ve always kind of hated whales since the whole Free Willy thing. It’s like who gives a crap if a whale is free or not? They just hang around and eat fish and have a stupid hole on the top of their head. That’s a necessary part of the world? I swear if I see a whale I will punch him right in his stupid face. What’s he going to do about it? Nothing. Because I can go on land and he can’t. Though if he figures out how to do that…I guess I’m probably pretty fed.

Then again, it’s a pretty extravagant way to go out. I can think of worse ways to die than pissing off a whale so much that it gains the ability to travel on land, stalks me and kills me. It’s probably better than my current reality of knee deep in blood and semen with a half-eaten grilled cheese in my hand. Sigh. Oh Future Chris. You’re incorrigible.

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