Animals attempting to ejaculate is really amusing to me, so long as it’s not happening above my face. Not sure if this tops the masturbating chihuahua, but this turtle attempting to f a shoe is pretty awesome.
I know I don’t say this often enough, but man turtle dicks look weird. It was like he was a cartoon character asking a question or something. That’s kind of depressing though. If you were a turtle being kept in a home and you weren’t neutered (I haven’t heard a lot about turtle neutering so I’m assuming it’s not possible though, granted, I don’t read about turtle genitals often enough outside of Ninja Turtles fanmade porn), you’d probably be really hard up for companionship. I’m not sure how that ends with you f’ing a shoe, but I can definitely relate.
Honestly there are many times in my life where I’d have been much better off going home and f’ing a shoe, then slowly rolling over and going to sleep like this little guy. Shoes don’t get pregnant. I hope. Though that would be a convenient way to get out of buying more shoes. Hmm.









Bikini model Maryeve Dufault is ARCA’s version of Danica Patrick
Battle of the Brunette Lingerie Models: Cora vs. Michelle vs. Jessica
The hottest photos ever taken of Stacy Keibler
Becca might just be the hottest Junior currently attending College of the Canyons
Blonde model April is an expert in the use of an hairbra [NSFWish]
The 7 most absurd inventions in the history of alcoholism
Liz Gorman is a Lingerie Football League player for the Tampa Breeze
21 year-old model Ashley Sky is really good at using Twitter
Miranda Kerr’s new lingerie photos will melt your eyeballs
Classic sports hotties who you might have forgotten