Women, don't hide weed in your anus

This might be my favorite opener to a news story ever. The less said, the better.

Some scenarios law officers just can’t be trained for, such as finding a bag of marijuana produced from the rectal area of a female recently engaged in coitus with another female.

Responding to a call of a suspicious vehicle in the parking lot of the Dollar General Store on US 231 shortly before 1 a.m. Friday , deputies found two partially nude females, ages 24 and 20, engaged in sexual activity in a 2005 white Nissan.

After allowing the women to get dressed, Deputies observed multiple white pills in the vehicle, according to a Bay County Sheriff’s Office incident report. The 20-year-old woman told officers the pills, a generic form of Lortab, were hers and she did not have a prescription for them. The woman then confessed to having a baggie of marijuana, which she “retrieved…from her rectum.”

Actually, the title of this post is probably a bit misleading. It says “Women, don’t hide weed in your anus” but it probably should say “Women, don’t hide weed in your anus and ESPECIALLY DON’T CONFESS TO IT AFTER GETTING CAUGHT DOING NASTY (AWESOME) THINGS WITH ANOTHER WOMAN YOU STUPID WHORE”. But that’s probably a bit wordy. And not very SEO friendly.

There was no way the cops would have ever found out after her confession. If you find two women sexing each other up in a parking lot, trying to do a cavity search immediately after probably wouldn’t go over too well. Particularly when you do it without a glove and with both your hands in the air. But it’s Spring Break in Panama City…I’m pretty sure that the cops there are allowed a certain amount of sexual indiscretions because WOO BEADS!

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