Woody Harrelson married a sea monster

Woody Harrelson is a pretty famous dude, so it’s pretty admirable and simultaneously completely disgusting that he got married this past weekend. Why is it disgusting? Look:

Woody Harrelson and his girlfriend Laura Louie were officially married on Sunday on the island of Maui, his rep confirms to Usmagazine.com.

The couple, who have been together for 20 years, tied the knot in front of a small group of family and friends, including actor Owen Wilson, Willie Nelson and Sean Penn. Alanis Morissette sang at the ceremony.

Louie is “the ultimate goddess,” Harrelson once raved to Los Angeles Magazine. “Sometimes I get way too yang. She’s very yin. We balance each other very well.”

Now I’m sure Laura Louie isn’t the ugliest woman on Earth. In fact, she’s not even the ugliest bride I’ve had on this site. But I have to believe that the guy who was once the “hunk” on Cheers and has been in countless movies over decades could do a little better. I’m sure Woody’s happy and all that, but I wish he’d make a sacrifice and f someone hotter for my benefit.

On the plus side, I’ve always wondered what it would be like to f someone who looks like a stereotypical caricature of a sherpa, so that’s pretty cool. And you can do it without scaling a mountain! Good work, Woody!

[source]

--- Did you like this article? And you probably like contests, exclusive content, and smug commentary right? Then why aren't you liking Guyism on Facebook? Show some pride and click the "Like" button below right now: